He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
