Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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