it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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