its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
