I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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