Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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