i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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