I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
