five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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