Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
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I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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