I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
