Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
