If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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