I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Mom said you looked used
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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