so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Your penis caused this!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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