Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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