I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
