If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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