I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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