I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
