I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
