Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
