I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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