I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize