there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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