I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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