oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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