My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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