I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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