I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
