That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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