that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
