Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
