Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
