At least make sure they are 18
Why
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
