She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
