What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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