There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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