I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
