oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
