Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
