Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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