Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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