I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
