Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
