Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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