i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
