dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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