She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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