I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
