I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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