i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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