super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
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Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.