Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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