I hate all girls vehemently.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
