I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
