i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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