Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
