Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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