he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
