The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
