Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Boobs speak an international language.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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