is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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