It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
