Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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